Pachamama Alliance's Awakening the Dreamer and Changing the Dream Symposium

I went to the Pachamama Alliance’s "Awakening the Dreamer and Changing the Dream" Symposium last night. It inspired and moved me deeply.

This is a grass root movement where by people in any community can be trained to lead the symposium so more people are able to experience and rethink about how they can make a difference for themselves, community and the planet. I’ll try to post a short video on the symposium as soon as I work out how! I am such a luddite!

As I re-awaken to so many of my passions in art, in poetry, in writing, in art, it is no surprise that environmental issues which I had long buried is re-surfacing in a new way in my life.

I am so excited I am going to be trained to lead/share this experience with the people of HK. I can’t wait to blog about it more after my training.

I have been getting my weekly stats report and I am amazed that there are people who are popping in to visit me!
Whoever you are, thank you for listening.

Life is Energy

I spent spend last week in Singapore attending T Harv Eker’s Train The Trainer program. When I did Millionaire Mind Intensive in March, I became a Quantum Leap member, effectively signing up for 5 courses in the Peak Potentials Curriculum. As you can see I love my personal development course.

One of the most powerful messages I got from attending the program was that everything in life is energy, be it money, training or life. Big energy begets big results. In a successful training, what is created is essentially a huge vortex of energy. And by managing, nurturing and sustaining this energy, everyone’s energy expands and so they grow.

About a decade ago I discovered a book that changed my life. It is call Paradigm Wars by Mark B Woodhouse who is a professor of philosophy. In his book he introduced me to the notion of Energy Monism which stipulates that all in life is of one essential essence. I later discover that that is the same fundamental premise of Quantum Physics. It was one of those things that fascinated me and eluded me. Harv was able to demonstrate how real energy was in a room full of people. He created high energy when he wanted to and brought it down when it was required. This was created in the context of training and it was incredibly powerful to be in the energetic ‘dance’ between trainer and audience.

Since I have been home, I became highly aware of energy. Being present to certain people’s ‘energy’ and also recognizing my own reaction to it. My dog Momo has this fragile, loving and pureness to her energy. My husband’s energy has grown since the training and his presence has become more open, steady and a new lightness is present. I feel I have expanded, fuller, more centered. I feel this is all part of the evolution of reclaiming my intuitive sense.

Ocean of love

I went for a swim with R at the Victoria park pool on Sat evening and remembered how beautiful it was to swim in the Adriatic sea. Swimming in Hvar and Dubrovnik blessed me with a breakthrough… I fell in love with the ocean unexpectedly. I already love the sea, the beach being Australian. As one is surprised to fall in love again with something one already loved, much like the surprising moments when I feel the full force and magnitude of love I have for R my husband.

I have always loved the ocean, but as a frolicker rather than a swimmer, I would only venture out far enough to splash myself, never into the waters where my toes loose contact with the sand bed. This all went away in Croatia. The lichen covered pebbled seabed was meters deep and friendly fishes distracted me with their dance. Sandwiched between the blue of the sky and the aquamarine of the ocean, I was a speck in God’s world, the fish and me, we were both really just as microscopic.

Soul Knitting (15 Feb 2002)

I have been a closet poet for quite a number of years and only a handful of friends have been privy to my poems.

There was a time when words strung themselves effortlessly in my head. Ditty capturing micro moments, when a smell, a leave, a scene that flashed by my bus window imprint themselves as words, they self-organise into poems, which I unravel on to the page one word at a time.

The older I got, the better I got at my day job, the less important I made writing. I convinced myself, writing didn’t matter, it was a youthful hobby. Whatever confidence I had about writing, I chipped away myself. I stopped writing and the deeper the gnawing grew.

S0…I have been hiding, under excuses of not being good enough, not being polished, not having a voice or anything worthy to say.
In fact when I started this blog, I didn’t really want people to read it.
The moment I registered my name in full as the blog url (seized by an almost mad moment of courage) I remember the mad panic setting in. I was naked and exposed. If I wrote from the heart, then there is no hiding.

To ‘save myself’ I found more excuses to not blog.
2 weeks ago, I told a whole other group of friends to hold me accountable to blog every other day. And most of them were so surprised I had a blog.
They asked me to send the link to them.
And I kept quiet, and changed the subject.

The next day I decided to stop the silly racket in my head. I took on sending out the link and for the first time consciously created for myself that it didn’t really matter what anyone thought. It didn’t matter what I thought. All that mattered was writing. And quietly, uneventfully since that moment I chose to just be with my own words, to not judge them.

In way, this re-new commitment to just be with words, stringing them together just for the pleasure of it, reminded me of this poem I wrote over 6 years ago.

Soul Knitting
Eva Ng
15.02.02

We are,
the knitters of our soul.

Taking bare strands of life
weaving patterns with the needles of our
hands, eyes, nose.
Shaping the looping vision with our ears, heart and mouth,
entwining the fibres of everyday,
with cheerful dexterity the one day,
and morbid dread another,
winding highs into lows, lows into highs.

We patterned this youthful section with an unskilled
vigour, knitting frenzied patches of wild woolly colours.

Dropped stitches, joyful gaps filled with exhilarating delight.
Crimson glories of foetal blood flagged life beginning.

Sorrow and tears, together stitched an abyss of grey, charcoal and muted darks,
deep pains inking the patch in shadow.

Tidy rows, the disciplined threads of adult life,
captured by neat lines in formal shades.

Years, days, hours,
click, tick, click tick the needle goes.
This great mat of colours, textures and fibres
Bold and unapologetic.
Stitch switches, switch stitches,
ultimate chaos, a true tapestry.

Masterful Living

I love this little poem which I scribbled in my daily planner from somewhere.
I aspire to live in this magical equilibrium.


I draw no distinction
between my work and my play, my mind and my body,
my education and my recreation

I simply pursue my vision of excellence
through whatever I am doing,
and leave others to determine
whether I am working or playing.

To myself, I am always doing both.

Heart to home

This morning I received an email from my youngest sister YY, recounting her move back home temporarily before she leaves for Europe to take up her scholarship for a Masters in Education. She shared a humorous exchange between her and my brother C who is the youngest in the family.

Later this morning, C emailed me to call him to sort out some paper work. And he shared that he has created ‘house rules’ for YY – which I found totally hilarious as their eldest sister.

Small anecdotes, moments of comic domesticity, so common to people living under the one roof.

Today, they came to me as extraordinary gems, an opening for me to be part of their life that is made difficult with me being in HK and them in Sydney.

In reading her short email, hearing his humorous complaint, the world shrank and I was transported home.

Inner and outer space

A friend called to invite me to take a seminar for 10 weeks. It’s called the Mastery Seminar by Landmark Education. The premise of the seminar is not to learn anything new (for graduates), it’s about getting out of the way the barriers to extraordinary performance in all areas of your life..

I particularly love this description of the seminar - Mastery in living requires having nothing between you and people, nothing between you and life, and nothing between you and yourself.

As someone with an exceptional commitment to and appreciation of excellence, mastery is a virtue I find highly inspiring and deeply appealing. My head wants me to sign up immediately, but the wisdom of my heart says not now.

Over the weekend, I am able to understand my inner compass’ guidance.

I am walking into many changes right now with the two businesses I am creating with wonderful, soulful partners and transition out of my comfort zone of being a career salaried worker. For my world to be filled with the new that is coming in, I am guided to undertake an ‘emptying’ of all sorts– physical things, emotions, thoughts, that has anchored me in my world now but I will no longer be needing in my tomorrows.

So much clutter and memories for the emptying. I see so many things I hold on to because I have never trusted myself to be without them.

More so than a physical emptiness, I anticipate such pleasure to refilling my clean and spacious inner sanctum.

Becoming more of myself

Perhaps it’s the media I elect to tune into, the books I am drawn to reading, or the podcasts I am listening to, the theme of ‘healing’ is recurrent – healing on the physical, emotional, soul and even planetary level. For a brief moment, I felt irritated by the word. I found it annoying because to require healing meant that something is broken, impaired, in dysfunction. I don’t feel, broken, impaired or defunct. Why is everything telling me I am. Why does everyone need to be healed!?!

In the same swiftness the irritation was felt, it fizzled out. Perhaps I should be grateful, I don’t feel broken. In my good fortune, how self-fish of me to beleaguer what others need.

Once my mind was able to give up my position on healing, I had what one would call a ‘critical moment’, a penetrating insightful moment on my life.

In 32 years, I have never truly embraced being a woman. I envied the speed and obvious strength of boys growing up. I preferred the company of young men over young women in my teens, I gravitated towards their crass humour, the simplicity and brunt of their friendship. In university, I love the way we shared adventures, laughter and focused clarity of goals. A little emotion is already a lot of depth in these relationships.

Women friends on the other hand cried, needed stories, needed shoulders, needed confirmations of their evolving self, were soft, were clingy, were powdered divas whose emotions rode high and low like tides to phrases of the moon. I loved them, but I found it a challenge to truly embrace their waning and waxing reproaches and love affair with the world. Most times I am in awe of them, their beauty routines, their vanities, their sweetness. And I found myself a part of yet apart from true belonging in this feminine world.

I relished in not being a girly, romantic girl. I was a strong girl, a smart girl, an efficient woman, a thinker, a do-er.

Today I realized I never truly allowed myself to unfold fully as a woman, never ventured to a space of womanhood unbeknownst to the confines of past prejudices and preferences.

32 years late and tomorrow is a new day. The amazing gift of life is that each moment holds the seed to be different from the moment before.

I saw today the synchronistic unfolding of life in my future as an entrepreneur in creating businesses that are all about serving the evolving, unfolding women in my community, city and ultimately the world. And while I embark on my new adventures, I will be starting a family, stepping into the new role being a mother. In doing so, I can see myself ‘healing’ through living, those unexpressed parts of my soul as a woman.

As I learn to embrace the varying faces of woman, I will essentially re-incarnate daily to becoming more of myself.

Here’s a poem that celebrates just this revelation. And it is of course divinely guided that I came across its magical eloquence today.

Love After Love
By Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Communion

As I heard this poem being read as a prayer by Caroline Myss on her podcast Sacred Contracts, it took me back to a time when I felt totally complete, with no wanting, sitting on the shores of Hvar staring out at the infinite horizon.

This also brought brings back all those other moments when I am next to the immensity of the ocean and I always become deeply filled with a sense of peace, bliss and connection to the world. In those moments I feel the ocean once again accept me and a profound sense of returning would fill me to the core. I could never explain why this is so, only to know it is. Maybe the vastness of all those water somehow fills and reflects a vast void within which longs to hold such magnificent.

Here’s the beautiful poem that transported me to such a moment.

When I Was In The Forest
by Meister Eckhart:

When I was the stream,
when I was the forest,
when I was still the field,
when I was every hoof, foot, fin and wing,
when I was the sky itself,

no one ever asked me did I have a purpose,
no one ever wondered was there anything I might need,
for there was nothing I could not love.

It was when I left all we once were
that the agony began,
the fear and questions came,
And I wept, I wept, and tears I had never known before.

So I returned to the river, I returned to the mountains.
I asked for their hand in marriage again,
I begged --- I begged to wed every object and creature,

and when they accepted,
God was ever present in my arms.
And God did not say, Where have you been?
For then I knew my soul ---- every soul --- had always held him.

Cornered

Reflections of the day:

 

All the money in the world

cannot not coax a simple smile

if I feel cornered inside

 

 

Accepting Frustrations

I don’t know why my side bar has gone “hide-y” down at the end of my blog.
My posts are also looking messy, there doesn’t seem to be any linebreak or paragraph breaks. This is all very perplexing! And annoying.
No matter what I do, I can’t fix it. Maybe its time to try another template.

This is the latest on a mounting pile of things I am feeling frustrated and annoyed about.
Eckhart Tolle says that peace can only come in the letting go of wanting this moment to be different.
I drew an angel oracle card last night about something else I am frustrated with and the message was this:

Blessing In Disguise
“What appears to be a problem is actually part of your answered prayer.”

Seen from another angle, the universe is giving me lots of opportunity to practice acceptance which I now remember creating as a possibility as I was doing the New Earth Webminar. Sometimes ...LOL...taking responsibility for how my life is turning out is not as fun as I thought it would be.

War and Peace

A lot is going on at work and I woke up literally ‘buzzing’ from the spinning thoughts in my head. Ideas, scraps of thoughts, worries, concerns, schedules, expectations.

My head feels heavy and cramped. I am disconnected to my center, and I can’t access peace.

Taking a cue from The New Earth, I took deep breaths and brought myself back to this pinpoint of time, this moment.

This moment looks like this.

At the sink.....Water under the tap.....Water cupped in my hand.....Awash over my face.

This moment..... This one breath..... This pinpoint of attention is my life.

Waiting in my inbox, a gift.... A poem name War and Peace.

How apt. Life feeding life a needed dose of loving inspiration.

Here it is.

If you stumble across this, you too must have been calling forth for Peace.

War and Peace

Man invents war. Man discovers peace.
He invents war from without.
He discovers peace from within.
War man throws. Peace man sows.
The smile of war is the flood of human blood.
The smile of peace is the love, below, above. Peace is the whole truth that wishes to enrapture humanity.
War is the whole falsehood that wants to capture humanity.
Peace begins in the soul and ends in the heart.
War begins in the mind and ends in the body. War forgets peace. Peace forgives war.
War is the death of the life human. Peace is the birth of the Life Divine.
Our vital passions want war.
Our psychic emotions desire peace.
War is clear futility in dire spear-stupidity.
Peace is flowing infinity in glowing eternity. Man seeks war when he thinks that the world is not his.
Man invites war when he feels that he can conquer the world.
Man proclaims war when he dreams
That the world has already surrendered to him. Man seeks peace because his earthly existence desperately needs it.
Man welcomes peace because he feels
that in peace alone is his life of achievement and fulfilment.
Man spreads peace because he wants to transcend death. The animal in man wars against peace in the outer world,
in the world of conflicting ideas.
The divine in man wars against ignorance in the inner world,
in the world of mounting ideals. The animal in man wants war for the sake of war,
war to devour the snoring world.
The divine in man wants peace for the sake of peace,
peace to feed the hungry world.

By:Sri Chinmoy From: Songs of The Soul

Small Thrill

Life has been so full lately and blogging seems to get relegated to the “it can wait till later” pile of things to handle.

A lovely friend told me about posting via email and this could possibly be the deal maker of me growing as a blogger!

Oh happy day!

Wondering in India Part 1

R and I went to India over Easter. We spent the week in New Delhi, Agra and Jaipur which is the Golden Triangle in Rajasthan. India is at once beautiful, ugly, magnificient yet shabby, ancient yet young.

In India, I felt uncomfortable amidsts the dirt, dust, insects and the rubbish. I worried incessantly about falling sick from drinking tainted water or eating contaminated food. All my physical concerns disconnected me from the spirit of India especially during the first couple of days when we got from New Delhi to Agra in a car after being told it was not possible for us to get train tix without booking. So we had a nice ride in a car where we experienced India with a Guide whilst driven around in a sedan. It was the “bubble” India experience.

As we got into the groove of India, R and I told our driver we didn’t want a guide and he can have the day off. He was shocked! We arranged for a meeting time and place and we set off on foot to ‘wonder’. That was the first of a few wonders.

This gave us a true taste of India and we happily ‘got lost’ and by doing so experienced some of our best India moments:

- Meeting the snake charmer

- Wondered into the Sari bazaar

- Given a flower from a flower merchant

- Palm reading by a supposedly famous astrologer/palmist

- Being taken by tuk tuk driver to a ‘shopping mall’ which was another souvenir emporium where we

-Admiring Indian arts and crafts

-Wondering around one of the biggest bazaar in Asia and buying lots of lovely Kurtas (flowy soft Indian shirts)

-Bringing home some lovely pashminas and hand madebedspreads in a sari shop

-Walking in the electronic districts where there are shops upon shops selling mobile phones with not a tourist in sight

-Smiles of random strangers who allowed me to take their pictures

R and I always travel with a part of the trip unplanned. During our honeymoon, we had the first 3 day planned and just decided to just flow with the rest of the two weeks. We invited a couple of wedding crashers and it was so much fun to have company. We even ended up spending a night at the tiny Split airport in Croatia. I love the freedom to just figure it out as we go.

Before we left for India, R asked me if I cared that he has only booked accommodation for our first and second night. We just flowed with it and it felt like life always meet us half way because we were always at the right place at the right time.

In this I should trust even more so when I return to the routine of the everyday.

Bite Size Inspirations: Aliveness

"Sometimes people get the mistaken notion that spirituality is a separate department of life, the penthouse of existence. But rightly understood, it is a vital awareness that pervades all realms of our being... Wherever we may come alive, that is the area in which we are spiritual."

David Steindl-Rast

I am experiencing spirit through time with R (my husband) and Momo (my furry child), writing, running, crafts, photography, dreaming.

Which area of life are you connecting with the spiritual right now?

A New Earth

Along with millions of people around the world, I am reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle and taking a 10 week online course through Oprah’s collaboration with Eckhart.

Since I started, I have been sharing and recommending the book to everyone I know. I truly believe this book has the power to change humanity and transform the way we are living today and bring about a new way of relating to people, the world and how we choose to live day to day. Outwardly life doesn’t really look that different for me. Inwardly, I feel a whole universe has shifted.

Some self-observations from the past few weeks:
my lack of focus – It is hard for me to do something from start to finish. My attention gets drawn to a thought, a noise, a word and then my mind starts following whatever that was and my attention fractures and I loose focus on the task at hand.
shallow breathing
hurry sickness - I am constantly in a hurry and barely present in the moment
seeing a lot more beauty around me – in people, in the familiar
flooded by inspiration – for color, art, creativity, design, words, poetry
a happy desire to work with my hands and create things – paint, draw, collage
a longing for silence or at the very least less noise
giving up resistance on things like housework and even enjoying doing it
more loving and connected to people, friends and family
things seem to flow with incredible ease
fleeting moments of awareness of the stream of thoughts that goes through my mind all the time

The idea that millions of people are also undergoing similar shifts in consciousness is so exciting! In the last 7 weeks, I have often wondered what is the collective impact of so many people awakening at the same time and what is the tipping point for the collective consciousness of humanity to raise?

I just feel such joy to see technology and fame being brought to use in such an enriching and generous way. : )

Too much stuff

My shoulder is throbbing a little from hauling around a handbag that’s too heavy.
What I crammed in my bag today:

(Wallet and keys, Moleskin Diary, The Culture Code by Clotaire Rapaille, A small spiral bound which is a bag staple, my fashion mag scrapbook, gym gear sans shoes, Iphone (which was used to take this pic), spare headphone and adaptor, tissues, make-up bag, pens, crystal pouch with 4 crystals in it (the red velvet pouch in the pic), tear sheet from magazine which i took out during the day.

I switched from a huge bottomless bag to a much smaller one a few months ago to lighten the load, literally and metaphorically. I always have too much stuff, on me, around me, buying, collecting, hoarding, saving it for the elusive someday.

This is a picture of my old office many years ago.

I am now purging emotionally, physically thing anything that no longer serves to add quality or beauty to my life. I have received a lot of inspiration and support from a few sources online: check out unclutterer, Peter Walsh Design, oprah (where I discovered Peter Walsh). Itunes store also has some podcasts on organising which was pretty good. I also youtube-d "clutter and organise" got a few vids but i think Peter's show clips on Oprah.com is probably the best and easiest to follow.

I am really enjoying the lightness space creates. I am tear sheeting what feels like a million Lucky Magazine and home decor magazine. I scrapbook what i like, find inspiring, beautiful, whimsical and scrapbooking it is like creating a big juicy mag i can flick through over and over again with only the best bits.

Little Things

I like to place small precious objects on the speaker ledge of my laptop. The Buddha sometimes "floats"on the row of function keys, light and ethereal. I love looking at this little Buddha statue as it reminds me the importance of inner peace.

The funny rock is from SS. She gave it to me when we were on vacation in Hvar Croatia last year. We gave each other gifts of pebbles as we were lying on the little pebble beach. I hold it intermittenly throughout the day to feel connected to her and the beauty and serenity of Hvar.

The little elephants also come and go on my computer speaker ledge. They remind me to be joyful and playful. Smooth pebble also another souvenir from Hvar. The Amethyst clutter is my birthday gift from mum. Its meant to absorb computer radiation and also help me focus.

My little things keeps my desk alive with play. Looking at them, holding them or moving them around infuse me with happiness and keeps me connected to people and things important to me.

Memory of an irritation

A few days ago, in the office, I felt something irritating my eye and I tried ignoring it. When that didn’t work I tried rapid blinking. Pretty soon after, the discomfort consumed my attention and so after some intense mirror work, prodding, cotton-swabbing and eye-dropping, the culprit, a tiny filament of fiber was located and removed. As I got back to work, my eye insisted that something else was still there. So back to the mirror and I started over with another round of prodding and peering which yielded nothing.

There was nothing in my eye. However, the discomfort was very real. Eventually, it disappeared.

It suddenly occurred to me there are two types of memories of irritations.-
The physical kind similar to the dust fiber leaving a discomfort after its removal. The bumps and scratches which leaves scars after the physical healing. Something in physical form confirmed their ending which helped us moving on.

What about the impact of emotional irritations? I realized so many of the opinions and judgments I have about people and life are made during moments of irritation. But instead of bearing with the discomfort and letting them disappear, they become ‘real’ for me and as the irritation festers the memory of the irritation ceased to be a memory but instead a foregone reality.

From the slow cashier to the waitress at yum cha, my parents, my sisters, colleagues, my dog, friends, ex-boyfriends and husband no one is truly free from clocking up memories of irritations! I realized even with people I love, our relationships are still cast in many different shadows borne from big and small moments of irritations because I never gave them the space to disappear.

I felt sad for what was and yet happy for what can now show up in all my relationships. I will no longer give credence to these amorphous memories of irritations and allow them to separate me from others, especially when it comes to the people I love and care about.

Love

I love you because you are.
I love you the way you are.
I love you for Love itself.
There is no purpose behind it and there is no end to it.

Osho

A dear friend of mine sent me this.
It moves me to no ends.
She moves me to no ends.
In her quest to peel herself from a life time built up of being in control, seeking approval, being strong, protecting herself from hurt, she is now learning to love, be love and receive love.
She is a child-woman, on this new path to reveal herself to life and allow life to reveal itself to her.
She is for me the embodiment of courage, beauty, aliveness and love.


Thank you Supriya for your love and your inspiration.

Like a spider

I heard this from wayne dyer on a podcast the other day, who in turn got this from Lao Tze... (forgive my loose paraphrasing)…. Everything we need to learn about enlightment we can learn from a spider.

The spider weaves his beautiful web and then sits and wait for life to come to it. It doesn’t rush around to look for food. It trust that its mission… the beautiful web will bring to it what it needs. Isnt it a lovely analogy for life.

This came to me as I stood in creating flow in my life. I had a deep intuitive feel that my life lesson this year was to embrace whatever shows up and learn to flow with it. In the past, flow to me has always been about optimal condition and operating, creating magically in the zone.

Since the beginning of the year, I learnt to flow with upsets at home. I learnt to flow with criticisms at work. I learnt to flow with uncertainty. I learnt to create despite the lack of creative inspiration flowing. I flowed with work stress. I flowed with tiredness, feeling overstretched with the different projects I committed to. I flowed with not having things my way when my Chinese New Year holiday was not filled with fun or R&R but instead hospital and vet visits as well as a grumpy and sick husband. Like the spider, I learnt flow may not means movement. Flow can be found in stillness and acceptance despite the part of me that rages on and find action a comforting way to barge forward.

In doing so, I now realised flow is a matter of choice in attitude, in trusting life, in not trying to control everything. Flow is about staying light and limber around whatever shows up. Flow is mostly about what is going on inside.

100 Seconds, 100 Minutes

In the last few years, I seem to start every personal email with an exclamation about how time seems to be rocketing forward and I am constantly left feeling frazzled from playing catch up.

This had me thinking a few months ago about my experience of the relativity of time as I caught myself experiencing a lack of peace of mind from working to meet yet another deadline at work. I have read about the theory of relativity of time, but how does it actually impact me is something I haven’t given much thought to. I know for a fact that there are moments when I am present and mindful about my action, I experience an ‘elastic’ quality to time. My sense of seconds and minutes are no longer relegated to the ticking of the clock but indefinite ‘moments’ of presence.

This gave me the idea to create for myself a personal agreement with time. I don’t have to live in the collective agreement of “60 seconds to a minute” or “60 minutes to an hour”. I created with myself that in my world that there are 100 seconds to a minute, and there are 100 minutes in the hour. As I dress or eat or sleep or work, I would look at a clock and know that I have so much more time between the appointment or the deadline or the end of the night.

I figured that the 60 minute hour and the clock as we know it is a conceptual structure. It is a fundamental framework of how we structure reality. This common reference point makes it easy for us to communicate and get things done. At one point last year, I no longer felt it was making my life easy, instead I felt like I was a slave to this idea. I am no longer wanting to be feeling the ill effects driven the by the collective agreement of the clock and how much of our lives is locked in sync with it.

Now I pay attention to those moments between the ticks of the second hand. Pin pointing my attention in that moment we call ‘now’ allows me to ‘stretch’ it. I now experience seconds and minutes are elastic.

I have been living inside this new agreement of time now for a few months. I can say that the many moments of emotional frazzle have decreased significantly.